There, I said it. I know, I know, I’m supposed to give myself grace, but it’s true — I want to lose my baby weight. After my first two pregnancies, I didn’t know what it meant to “try to lose the baby weight.” A few weeks after I delivered my babies, the weight just sort of fell off, and by the time I had my six-week postpartum checkup, the number on the scale was the same that it was pre-baby. Maybe it was genetics, or because I was in my 20s, or because I didn’t gain too much weight, but for whatever reason, the extra weight was gone, and I didn’t have to think about it. This time is different. After having three babies in less than five years, I feel like my body is saying, “Well, I guess we’re just having babies now!”
The reality is, it’s been seven months since delivery, and I feel like I have given myself a lot of grace, perhaps too much, after delivering a baby during a pandemic. Being home for the majority of the year means being within feet of the refrigerator at all times, and I have been guilty of emotional eating a time or two. Staying home also means staying fairly sedentary unless I’m working out, and it turns out it’s hard to fit in a decent workout when three kids are running and crawling around me. And we can’t forget the pandemic stress, probably the biggest offender. I feel like my cortisol levels have tripled over the past ten months, and no one wants that when trying to lose weight.
So I’ve given myself time, and I’ve given myself grace, but now I’m ready to push myself a little bit because, at this point, it’s clear that the weight’s not going to fall off by itself. It feels taboo to say that I don’t feel great in my current body when we live in a time of respecting our bodies for the babies we’ve created — and I do — but I’m also ready to feel more like my old self. I’m not going to remove my stretch marks or my loose skin — those are signs of growing my babies, and I’m so grateful for that — but I will work a little harder to fit into my old jeans comfortably.
Here’s to snacking a little bit less, exercising a little bit more, and prioritizing sleep. I’m going to take better care of myself so that I can take better care of my kids. And hopefully, the weight loss will follow.