One thing I am extremely passionate about is mentoring young girls, the reason is because I have been blessed to women in my life who mentored me. Therefore I have always felt that if I would pour into women the way women have always so passionately poured into me, there would be a whole new generation of women who formed powerful “girl gangs.” Imagine my surprise when I was in one of my mentoring sessions and one of the young ladies who was about 14 said “I don’t have any girlfriends: they talk too much, and you don’t need that many female friends” (insert imaginary pearl clutch).
What is with a cultural devaluing of female friendships?! My parents raised me, however I had what we like to call a “Village.” The Village consisted of my Granny and 3 Aunts who were there to help steer me and also assist my parents if I needed someone to speak with or furthermore, if I needed a stern “talking to.” So, to say the least, I have been blessed by being surrounded by the most amazing group of women anyone could ask for. When I found out that I was having a daughter, imagine my excitement. Not only could I hang out with her and, of course, dress her, but I could give her the nuggets of wisdom I received from the amazing women in my family.
This Importance of Girlfriends
As for my girlfriends, I have virtually had the same friends my entire life, it’s because I like to keep my friendships tight and with very little fall out. The beauty of that situation is that I have to keep all of my friends because….they know too many secrets. These women are always there, they hold me accountable, they read my blogs, they love me, they pray for me, they make sure that I am doing alright….in short….they hold me up. That is what girlfriends are supposed to do, be there and be strong when the other one is falling. These women are wives, Mothers, Bosses, and contenders, and for that reason I lean on them and admire them more then they will ever understand.
I have always subscribed to the theory that behind every successful woman is a tribe of other successful women who have her back. I want my daughter to feel as if her relationships with women matter, and I want her to honor them because they are worth the investment. Once Weslie and I were at the library and she automatically migrated to a girl about her age. It made me so proud because she had never met her and yet, Weslie felt comfortable enough with this young lady to initiate play.
I honestly want to raise a daughter to enjoy her friendships with women, they will be the most significant in her life! I want Weslie to know that like every relationship will come with challenges and you will not always agree with them, but don’t disregard your friends when you meet a boy or be so quick to judge that you don’t value their opinions or their life choices. Be proud of your girlfriends and remember that no matter what, they are going to be there to have your back, to laugh with you and love you and the best you can hope is that you all grow old together, celebrate their successes and when life serves them lemons, you get out the pitcher and make lemonade….together.