Pandemic living, quarantine, and lockdown. Living through a global pandemic, nope, not my jam. Zero out of five stars, would not recommend. “Living through a pandemic” was not an option on my MASH list growing up, it was not a dream of mine.
There are days where I can put my big girl pants on, throw on some gangster rap and deal. Then other days, not so much. Those days, I sit back and think about how crazy this all is. Global pandemic, quarantine, life as we knew it, gone. What is this life? Wondering, will this ever end? Are we ever going back to how things used to be? Then there are tears, lots of tears.
Like the Little Mermaid, “I want to be where the people are!” I miss people. I miss hugs. I miss places. I miss going to the grocery store pre-pandemic. Back in the good ole days when I didn’t feel like I was doing something wrong. Back before the pandemic grocery store shuffle. You know the one. Trying to keep our distance and looking at everyone like they have the plague. Trying to social distance and keep 6 feet apart, but I really need to get in your bubble because I need apples! Also, don’t you dare sneeze in the store. The lady at the end of the aisle will give you the death stare deep down into your soul.
So many dishes. So much laundry. We aren’t going anywhere, people! Why are we wearing so many clothes? Then the, “When did I shower last?” or “When did I wash my hair last?” game. A game nobody wins.
Then, there’s the constant anxiety. Oh, there’s a tickle in my throat, is that you Rona?! Or is that because I haven’t dusted in a while? Am I making the right decision by sending my kid to daycare? We are living through a pandemic, but daycare is open and mama needs to get work done. Crap, my kid just licked a trash can. Definitely going to need to quarantine for two weeks after that one. The anxiety and constant thoughts are exhausting.
Also exhausting, spending every waking moment with my husband. We are together more than I ever thought we would be in our lives. Now don’t get me wrong, I love my husband, and he’s pretty great. No one else in the world I would choose to quarantine with (except maybe Ryan Reynolds). However, it was not in our vows to spend every waking moment together! I should probably go buy myself an “I survived quarantine with my husband” present.
At times, I feel like a toddler throwing a temper tantrum because I’m not getting my way. I also realize there are thousands of people truly affected by Covid. If spending additional time with my husband and not getting to go out to dinner are the worst things that are happening in all of this, then I think we are doing ok. It’s still hard, and again, not my jam.