Welcome to the club! When you become a mom, you enter into an exclusive club. Once you are a part of the club, other members can easily recognize you.
We all get a “membership jacket”…which is usually whatever clothes we are wearing that are covered in spit-up, milk, and partially chewed Cheerios. Our messy buns, yoga pants, and little to no makeup are markers of our membership too.
Entering into the club of motherhood is equal parts beautiful and terrifying. It’s full of moments when you’re snuggling your sweet baby, just in awe of the fact that you created this tiny human. But then there are moments when you’re wondering whether it’s normal for them to spit up that much or if it means that something is horribly wrong. You marvel at their big, beautiful eyes, but also worry about if they have eaten enough today. You love how social they are but worry about them getting close to other kids because of COVID.
This is a club that there is not any training for. Yes, you can read books and talk to other parents, but no kid is like your kid. Your baby is unique and your family dynamic is unique. So no matter how much you studied for this, you are going to make mistakes…we all do.
Nevertheless, the unexpected and wonderful part about joining the club is that members look out for each other. Moms support other moms. After I had my baby, everywhere I went I saw examples of this support. One time I was at Target, baby on the changing table, dirty diaper in the trash, only to realize that I had used the last diaper in my diaper bag and forgotten to refill (sadly this is not the only time this has happened). Another mom in the bathroom smiled at me, no judgment in her eyes, and offered me one of hers. There have also been countless understanding smiles when my baby got fidgety in public, doors held open when my arms were full, and strangers there to pick up my son’s pacifier when he threw it out of the stroller for the millionth time. Isn’t that how it’s supposed to be though?
Of course, there are always “haters”. The moms that missed the memo about the club and think their job is to tell you how you are doing this parenting thing wrong and they are right. But, I choose to be a part of the club and I have read the memo. That is why I take every chance I can to support the moms around me. When my son grows out of a size of diapers, I offer the ones I have left, for free, to any other mom that needs them because diapers are stupidly expensive. I use social media to comment messages of support to mom friends and I do my best to welcome the new moms I know into the club. That’s how it should be. What are you doing to support other moms?
The next time you see a fellow mom club member, choose to be the one who offers support. Let them know that the partially chewed teething biscuit stuck to their pants looks great, or that their kid looks so happy and healthy, or not to worry because everyone forgets the backup diapers or onesie sometime! Being a mom is hard enough, so help each other out. Be a mom who supports other moms.