Once upon a time, there was a Mother of a young girl. She was beautiful girl, smart and charming, as well. Wherever the young girl went, whether it was a regular outing, a grocery store, or a family outing people would say “You are such a gorgeous little princess.” That made the gorgeous young girl’s Mother extremely confused and prompted her to think…. why do you call my daughter Princess? The Mother is me and the young girl is my daughter, Weslie. I was raised to be strong by the women in my family including my Granny, Mom, and Aunts and as a Daddy’s girl, my Dad as well.
Okay, this may be presumptuous considering that my daughter (Weslie) is only one years old, but even at one, nothing about Weslie says Princess. She is made with conviction and fire and everyone says her personality is super strong willed. When she falls, she gets right back up, not a whimper, when she gets shots, she cries for one second and then she is done with it. If I say something that disappoints her, she doesn’t get down she simply tries to figure out a way around it, much to mine and her Dad’s dismay. However, for me when you call my daughter Princess it gives me an image of a hopeless girl, an obstacle, and a prince coming to her aid.
Don’t get me wrong, I know strong Princesses! Look at Princess Kate, she is strong and she is not afraid to use her voice for causes that she believes in. I also look at some of the Disney Princess and for all intents and purposes they possess a certain strength of character, yet at the end of the movie the obstacle was overcome with the help of a Prince who magically rescued them and came to their aid. Although my Mother read these stories to me, life never ever turned out that way, and honestly, I don’t think that our girls need to believe that even in the most perfect fairytale, at the end of an obstacle, a Prince will come and wake you with a kiss, take you to a ball, or furthermore change from a beast to a charming Prince (a lesson that most of us learned in college ?). However, I want my daughter to possess some qualities of a Princess, delicate when she needs to be, willing to fight for what she believes in and have an ability to discern who her friends really are.
Skip the “Princess”, Go Straight to “Queen”
I know what you are thinking, she is only 1 years old, let her live in the fantasy, let her be a kid for a while. Read the stories and don’t be so anxious when people say that your daughter is a Princess. My response is quite simple, although Princesses are fine, I don’t want my daughter to identify as such and eventually become disappointed when the stories don’t deliver reality. I spent a good part of my childhood obsessed with Cinderella, hoping that the right shoes would deliver the right guy and ideally evil sisters would be punished. The reality is that even though the right shoe can take you anywhere, life doesn’t always deliver harsh punishments to people who treat you badly. Furthermore, you leave a shoe somewhere, whoever finds it will probably just get rid of it, that is reality.
I am the Mom who is raising a daughter in a callous and unforgiving society that will sometimes disappoint her and ultimately no fairy tale can prepare her for that. Therefore, instead of calling her Princess, let’s skip the coronation and make her a Queen, because according to Oprah, Queen’s aren’t afraid of failure.