I have battled with my weight for as long as I can remember. I was an average-sized kid in elementary school, but I struggled in middle school and high school. After I graduated high school and went to college I was a size 16. I was always the “fat” friend. I even remember a male friend of mine told me once that I had the face and personality, but my skinny friend had the body and that would win every time.
I decided to do something about my weight and joined Weight Watchers for the first time and I lost 27lbs. I felt great and could shop in all the stores, not just the plus-size only stores. After a few years my weight went up again and when I got married I was a size 20. After we got married and were “happy” I gained more weight and the scale tipped at 250 pounds. At that point, I was ready for a change. So I decided to start counting my calories and joined the gym. After losing my first ten pounds I heard about a dance workout “Zumba” and I decided to try it out. I went to my first class and hid in the back and tried my best to keep up. After a couple of classes, I was hooked! I started taking classes regularly and kept calorie counting. I ended up losing 55 pounds and I looked and felt amazing.
After I had lost this weight and was no longer taking blood pressure medicine, my husband and I started trying for our first child. By the time I got pregnant, I had gained twenty pounds back and at delivery, I had gained another thirty-three pounds. Boom, just like that all the weight I worked so hard to lose was back.
After my daughter was born I spent the next four years yo-yo dieting, weight came off, then more came back on. When I got pregnant with my son I was twenty pounds heavier than the day I delivered my daughter. I only gained seventeen pounds during my second pregnancy and all of that pretty much fell off after delivery.
I have spent the last three years since his birth in a rut, I’m the biggest that I’ve ever been and it’s taken a toll on me. I can’t do things I want to do, I worry about fitting in booths or on rides with my children. I get out of breath doing simple tasks, and I am super self-conscious and that affects alone time with my husband. My biggest fear is that my weight will scar my kids. I never want them to look back and think “mom wasn’t able to do that with us.” Enough is Enough
A few months ago I took a big step, I started the process that leads to weight loss surgery. I have met with dieticians, nurses, and the surgeon. I am logging what I eat in a binder and I am learning to be more active. Soon I will be finished with all of the required appointments and my file will be submitted to insurance to wait for approval for surgery, once I’m approved I will receive a surgery date.
I have so many emotions about this process. I’m excited and want to start a new chapter of my life and be the best mom I can be to my children. I know that having this surgery will help push me down this road. I’m also terrified! This surgery is a huge deal that involves removing 80% of my stomach. My stomach will go from holding a 32 oz Polar Pop to a 2oz shot glass. That is a huge change, and it’s going to take a lot of getting used to. This surgery is also just a tool, diet, portion control and exercise make this surgery successful.
I am determined to succeed and I know I can do this, I am excited for the next step and I’m so ready for some great results.